My Real Birthday/Easter Weekend

How do I begin to describe my first vacation with the in-laws? Freezing, Hilarious, Incestuous Fun.
I just give you the short version.
Thursday: Buy Batman Bobble Head, Break Batman Bobble Head, Drive to Green Canyon camping ground, no hook-ups, fight over hook-ups, look at KOA, KOA sucks, camp with no hook-ups, go to Ray's Tavern for dinner, have to eat outside because there are too many of us, freezing but really good food, Lance strips for new girlfriend, freeze at night but happily there are flushing toliets.
Friday: Wake up at 4:30 a.m., drive to Arches National Park, Beautiful, teenagers wander off and we hope we don't have to go back up to find them, teenagers return, go to Moab to check out ugly girl jeeps and go shopping for my birthday, lunch on the rocks with more hiking and more arches, Cordell hikes ahead and we decide we are done, sit and wait for Cord to finish the loop, new game...throw rocks at the beetle, talk about how the family is a little too close, start singing the "Deliverance" banjo tune, get bored with beetle throw rocks at lizard, Dustin finds Echo to be a much better target, 2 hours go by, Cord still missing, pocessed child gives glares at Echo and Chelsea and then hands me a rock, I wonder what happens if you accept a rock from a devil child, Cord's mom goes to look for Cord, Cords dad goes to look for the both of them, all return finally.

(this is for Paco)

Saturday: It's raining hard, rain slows down, drive to Dead Horse Point, paid $10 to look for 10 minutes then leave which was very lame, go to major dirt hill by Arches, starts to rain again, hang out with the campfire, meet Josie's friend Spence, wonder if Spence is a 50 year old child molestor, hope not because the kids are obsessed with him, Client keeps talking about being on a mother F*ing boat (see SNL for reference), decided that "Brain Stew" by Green Day is the theme for the short bus, it's to bad that the only words we know is "my eye's feel like they're going to bleed", listen to Spence's camp sing "If I had a Million Dollars" followed by church hyms, we sing the only gay Eskamo song, I would totally rather be at our camp.
Sunday: Play at Goblin Valley, get sand in my eyes, Cord wanders off again, form a search party, 1 hour later Cord comes back then we have to find the search party, easter egg hunt at camp, 260 eggs and only 3 little girls, major sugar high, more fire,wind makes us almost catch on fire, Phase 10, everyone cheats, I haven't laughed so hard in a long time, thought it was 3 in the morning but it's only 12 a.m.
Monday: drive a lot, need sleep.
The trip was freakin' sweet. I am so grateful to have married into such a fantastic family. I love you all very much.
**side note- our family really does reproduce like rabbits, my nephew and wife who got married in December are expecting their first baby in September.