Lately I have been trying to avoid reflecting on myself but unfortunately your emotions always seem to find their way out. It is now coming onto May and I am fast approaching my first due date. I really can't believe that I could have been having a baby any day now. I didn't expect it to hurt so bad. I don't want to dampen anyone's spirits. I have a number of wonderful friends who are about to pop soon and I want you to know how extremely happy I am for you. If it had to be someone, I will gladly take it. I think it's so much harder to watch your friends suffer than to endure the pain yourself.
I'm not really sure if I ever had a spirit inside of me or if it was just a cluster of fetal cells. I don't think anyone really knows, but within a few short weeks I fell in love with that little being. I don't even know how it's possible to love something so much that I never got to know. I been trying to shake off this sadness and confidently move forward, but I've learned that you first have to go through something before you can get over it and that really sucks. Thank you all for being patient and listening to my emotional combustion. Writing as become a great outlet for me. I've never been good at showing people how I really feel.
3 comments:
You are so amazing! I know that this has been so difficult for you and I think that it's great that you have an out for it. I think if we keep stuff like this to ourselves, we would go crazy! We love you so much and are thinking about you both all of the time! You have a lot of love to give and I believe that you will have the chance to give that to a child of your own.
Keep your head up and know that we are always here! We need to get together again before you guys leave. Do you know when you are going?
We love you and you are in our prayers
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