Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Pour some sugar on me
I decided this should be my new profile pic...
I feel like being a recluse for a while. Everyone one around me seems to get pregnant in a blink of an eye. I'm bitter and I have no idea what to do about it. I love my friends and I feel so happy for everyone, but I don't know how many more announcements/showers/blessings/Facebook statuses/blog posts/etc. I can take. Please offer your great wisdom and leave me a comment on how I can retain a social life without it ripping my heart out. Please help!!!
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8 comments:
I got nothing! I wish I had an easy answer for you. Just be yourself and your true friends will stick by you through all your trials/bitterness/loneliness/heartache.
I'm sorry that answer was so cliche and awful but I had to leave ya somethin!
I do have one peice of advice.....I wouldn't set yourself for failure. By that, I mean I would try to stay clear of blogs where people boast about their lives, pregnancy, etc. If that means all blogs. Do it. If you have to hide 50 percent of your friends on FB to remain sane. Do it. It's all about surrounding yourself with people who truly care and positivity. Just by reading your blog in the past few months, it seems you are doing some things to distract yourself (your goals, working out, girls days, etc). I'd say keep it up. Things will turn around. It will.
Of course, I am not sorry for being pregnant, but I sure am sorry for the way that it makes you feel. You were the first person that I thought of when we talked about telling people. I say that it's normal to feel bitter and lonely and to have heartache. It sucks, big time, I understand. And Lori is right, you should surround yourself with things that make you feel happy, and if that means ignoring the people that are boasting about pregnancy (even if it's me), then that's okay. Your happiness is way more important than anything else. When you are ready, I'll always be here! And if you ever want to hang out, we for sure don't have to talk about it at all. Whatever is best for you is best for me! Like I said before, you guys are too important to us. Sometimes, all you can do is to survive. I'm so sorry that you are hurting.
There's no easy answer. In fact there is no answer at all. Heartbreak is a bitter pill. I do know that if any of your friends could change your situation, they would. Unfortunately for you, their lives have to go on, and in most cases that means that they will have kids. You can cut them out over it, make them feel guilty about it, or just continue being honest and admitting how you feel while accepting the facts. Your feelings are your feelings, and you are entitled to feel them. You are stronger than you think you are, and somewhere there is going to be a silver lining. It just sucks to have to wait for it.
Kathy is right, there is no easy answer! I may have one suggestion though. For me the only way to get over bitterness is to do service for others. Forget your problems and feelings for a bit and go and help others. Not only are you distracting yourself, but you are also putting good vibes out there. I know that is sucks for you and those feelings are real, but sometimes we have to remember how blessed we are and how much we have to give others. Trust me, this is hard for me to swallow as well. I am really sorry that you are going through these hard times. Remember who you are,that you can get through this, and those that love you are here by your side no matter what!
Sweet Cassie, there is nothing I would love more than to see you big and pregnant. I love the goals you've set - everyone needs to be better.
Truth is that we never know what Heavenly Father has in mind for us. Whatever that path may be, you can believe that He is preparing your for the greatest happiness possible.
You are in a unique position to provide empathy - knowing exactly what many other women are going through. It's a lot more common than it seems.
If my body didn't hate pregnancy, I would offer to be a surrogate. Because I know that when the time is right you'll be an amazing mother.
Hang in there and know that you are loved.
I most definitely think we should get together one of these days.
The best advice I can give is keep your head up. Those of us 'chosen' to battle this infertility come out so much stronger than we ever thought possible. By calling it a battle it makes me feel like there is an end, which there will be and it will be a most victorious end for both you and I. So keep your head up.
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