Like you all know, I made the insane choice of making my issues with fertility very public. I would not suggest this to anyone. The pros are that you don't have to hide anything. You don't have to wear a fake smile all the time. Plus I'm a firm believer sharing a real life not just the "good news minutes".
Now onto the cons... I never thought it would lead to losing friends. I admit I have been avoiding social gatherings because it truly breaks my heart to sit around and talk about babies, pregnancies, etc. It's seems to be the topic of choice among women in their 20's. Because I don't want to ask people to not talk about the most exciting thing in their life, I just avoid them completely. I am happy for my friends but there are times it kills me and I end up taking bathroom breaks to cry out the frustration. As I mentioned in the last post this month has been hard. If avoiding people makes me "selfish, bratty, and in need of pulling the stick out of my head that's shoved up my ass", then so be it. I think of it more as self preservation. I thought, of all people, my friends would understand.
4 comments:
It always helps to be able to be open and vent about infertility but its not what people what to hear. I say keep on venting about it. It helps you out and if people cant accept that.. then forget them. I find a lot of people just don't understand it. They dont understand all the emotions that surge thru you when someone announces their are pregnant, that you have no control over.
I agree with Melissa. Plus, it helps other women that are going through the same thing to know that they are not alone. If you are losing friends, then they are the ones missing out. You, as are all of us, are the whole package. The good and the "bad". A real friend takes both and appreciates that this is what makes you.. you. Intertility sucks big time. If you catch me talking too much about kids or babies, just smack me upside the head for being so insensitive. It's worth it to me to tone down the baby stuff to have a great friend like you. Keep your head up. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can't see it yet.
This is tough. I'm really really trying to think of some great advice but I'm pretty much blank. Life is so unpredictable and surprising. YOu can vent to me anytime.
Ps. I keep you and Adam in my prayers all the time!
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